Color, Carat, Clarity and Cut

I heard this song the other day and it reminded me of how similar people are to diamonds.

Color varies just like people do.

Clarity refers to the Absence of Inclusions and Blemishes. Inclusions mean a diamond is not flawless, but they are internal just like our scars; those wounds we carry deep inside us that no one has a clue about.

Carat refers to the weight of the diamond, how it is measured. We may weigh a small amount and have a heavy energy or we may be mid-sized and be as light as a feather. It all comes down to how much work we have done on ourselves.

Cut of course, gives the diamond most of its sparkle. The more facets that reflect the light, the greater the sparkle. It doesn’t matter if you’re round, pear, oval, brilliant or an empress, if you are showing the world all of you, all of the time, you are going to sparkle!

Keep shining bright like a diamond!

Are You Working It?

Several years ago I knew a girl who used to say, “You better work” all the time. We decided to be roommates in Manhattan after we finished school in Dallas. I barely knew her, but she seemed very demure and let’s face it, not too many people are willing to move to the big city from Texas.

Shortly after I had sold everything I owned and moved in with her, I became privy to her lifestyle. She met trainers constantly, was always flying somewhere or going out until all hours of the morning at private clubs or parties and shopped on Madison Avenue constantly. I didn’t understand how she could afford to do all that, since I never saw her go to work.

Hanging out with her was rare, due to my schedule at work and her lack of one. Also the financial difference was a problem. I made assistants pay and she seemed to have an endless supply. She wasn’t one to offer to pay or help you out, as money was something she coveted as much as I did her shoes, but every now and then she would be generous and offer.

This would entail a night out. She always invited me because she said I had good sense and would tell her when it was time to leave. It was seldom that I went, but when I did, the evening would always be something out of a movie.

Velvet hot pants and Karl Lagerfeld pumps were the name of the game, so while she helped herself to my clothes, I helped myself to hers. You thought the hot pants were hers? The pumps were, but those hot pants were mine and she loved to wear them. And the men loved to see her in them! Oh my God! They would get neck lash from staring at her.

There was no place that she didn’t feel at home at. She would direct the cabbie to a hot spot with a line going around a building and proceed to walk to the front, flash a coquettish smile to the bouncer and we were in. I would say, “there’a line of people, we can’t just cut.”

Lines were for losers (her words not mine), only an idiot would pay for their own drink (also her words) and if some poor unsuspecting guy happened upon her who wasn’t wearing what she deemed suitable attire, she simply looked at him and said, “I’m so not impressed” and he would walk away shamed probably never approaching a woman again.

She had an energy about her that was off the charts confident and equally chaotic. If there was drama going on, she was the director. One night she called me from an after hours place and asked me to come and get her; that meant take a cab and escort her home. I obliged. I knew she had no one else to count on, despite the fact that she had many acquaintances, many admirers, many hanger-on-ers.

When I got there she had a broken nose. The people in the place wanted to go home but she was frenetic as one could only imagine, and was in shock. They only wanted to be rid of her. I calmed her down and wiped her face of the blood. She was distraught and scared to death of what the break might do to her looks. She told me that she had called some guy a loser who had been sitting with her and some girl because he expected them to pay for his drinks.

I once questioned her safety with the choices she made, especially the mouthing off to men, to which she replied, “I pity the f-er who ever crosses me!” I admired this about her. She called it knowing her worth. She said I didn’t know mine. That I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted or required. I didn’t agree at the time and was upset about it. She didn’t care. Her words were her currency and she had a lot of them, and it, because she never stopped speaking her truth.

I stayed for almost a year being an apprentice at a bougie salon to a complete prima donna and decided to return to Dallas with the knowledge I had gained. I worked there for many years and we lost touch. It wasn’t until I was returning to Manhattan to open a new salon that we reconnected for a brief moment.

She told me that she was returning to Arizona where she was originally from. She said she was going to become a teacher. I wondered how a person who worked it could ever possibly work, but as she sat there packing her bags and talking about how tired she had become of working it with people who didn’t know their worth, I could see that she was ready to go to work and wished her well.

My old friend may have known how to work it, but in the moments where we were together in our one room at the women’s home, she showed me a vulnerable side to her that no one else ever saw. She treated waiters with kindness and cabbies too and had a keen sense of when others did not. She watched people; observed them like they were some species under a microscope. More importantly, she knew who valued themselves and who did not.

She was right about me. Back then I didn’t know my worth. I settled over and over again for less than what I was worth. I accepted crumbs, disrespect and disregard time and time again. She knew her worth so well, that men who didn’t know theirs, would be willing to do just about anything for a moment with her. It’s how she was able to see this flaw in me; the one who would accept the unacceptable in hopes that it would lead to more.

We’ve all seen people who accept the unacceptable. I saw this recently when I was in Florida. There was a young woman, probably 24, sitting with an older gentleman, probably 50 by the pool. She kept taking selfies and ordering things from the waiter, and entertaining herself as though he was’t even there. She would hand him her drink as she snapped away and then swam to the other side of the pool and threw him a bone, as she spread her legs poolside, taking more photos. She wanted people to notice her and I gather he did too. The pool was quiet and elegant and she had no respect for anyone around her, not even the families with children. It was such a spectacle! I felt sorry for him.

At some point you gotta ask yourself: Is this enough for me? Am I willing to keep making choices that cost me my self esteem? Am I willing to keep spending time with people who only measure my worth by what I am doing for them or what I am giving them? Or do I love myself enough to want more? Do I love myself enough to know I deserve more? That maybe, just maybe, there is somebody out there that will tick all the boxes for me, but maybe in order to have that, I need to tick them myself.

If we are working it; meaning putting on a mask, pretending to be all that, bringing a player vibe, then we will get exactly what we are being; transactional. But if you are working on it; meaning yourself with all your issues, then you won’t require anything from anyone because you can give it all to yourself.

Waiting for someone to save you, to see your worth, validate you, make you feel special, or to fill a void, are sure signs that you’re working it. Because when you’re working on it, you don’t have to pretend anymore. You just get to be you.

So, are you working it or working on it? Because one is a whole lot more empowering than the other.

Tic…Boom!

I have mentioned that my son plays football in previous posts. Friday I took him to a new trainer. Obviously playing football for fun and making it your entire focus are two different things.

This trainer was an hour from our house. It seems as though everything football oriented is over and hour from our house. The traffic can make it more and usually does.

In the past I would have complained about this. I’m not a fan of getting on the highway or driving, which is why I like big cities where I can walk…or the south where I can ride a bike. I will most definitely live in one of these places when he is done with school; the city might come sooner if the commute gets to be too much for him next year. But since I have been focusing less on outcomes and more on the present moment, he is happy here, so this is where we stay.

When I am not focused on me, I am focused on him. What is it he requires? Gain more weight; make more food. Workout more; take him to the gym. Getting more sleep; wake from my slumber to get him off his computer, which happens to be his only form of a social life due to football. Most days are spent trying to help him reach his goal. Which is easy for me to do, because it’s something I do for myself now and we all need someone in our corner.

So when a guy knows a guy who lives out somewhere near us and not in Jersey, I agreed to take him. I didn’t even think twice about driving to the middle of nowhere! We laughed, shared stories and he even confided in me about one of his friends having a problem and how he was trying to help her.

I enjoyed every minute of being with him; even when he played his music, which I struggle to like sometimes. We even got stuck in traffic but I was so focused on listening to him and seeing how insightful he is, I had a great time.

I share this story with you because I heard this song this morning and it reminded me of another key theme to manifesting. When you have complete trust in the Universe and allow it to bring you what you need instead of chasing after it, things just start to happen for the better. Life gets easier instead of harder.

One coach leads to another coach which leads to something else; something better. Everything aligns so seamlessly, without you even having to do anything. It appears to be simply “gifted” to you.

The auditions have been rolling in for me; really fun ones too, more me. I’ve been selling my cards on all platforms without doing any advertising and I know this has nothing to do with me doing anything. It has everything to do with me doing nothing.

This energy of allowing instead of controlling is paramount to manifesting. When you put something into action that you really want, you are showing the powers that be that you are committed to it. No matter how much you are tested, you stay the course. You keep doing the inner work every time you are tested and you learn to discern very quickly. When you get to this place of inner peace, you are rewarded. It is the tic before the boom.

So if you want to see fireworks in your life, embrace all of the moments throughout the day. Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost and do not give your energy (attention) to anything or anyone who tries to take you back there.

Before you know it, you will be amazed at how seamless life can be. Surrender to what is instead of trying to make it something it is not or ever will be.

I insist on being a part of the journey my son is on, because I want to be there when he makes it to his destination. There will be people along your journey that are not meant to be a part of your destination. It’s okay. We all have our own paths. Don’t try to make someone walk yours with you if they don’t want to or simply can’t. This is one of the main reasons you will not manifest what you want. Your energy is scattered and going backwards instead of forwards.

Find inner peace, stay present and don’t allow anyone to mess with your vibe. If you can do this…Boom! You will be a manifesting magnet.

Follow the Breadcrumbs

Are you seeing repeating numbers? 1111,111,222,333,444,or 555?

These are signs from the Universe, Angels, whatever you believe, to wake up and start living your life; to essentially be a gypsy.

What is a gypsy anyway? A free-spirited person who roams the land searching for a better place.

If you have received this call, via repeating numbers, you are being asked to answer it. Sure, you can ignore it for awhile, but eventually the numbers show up all the time. I saw 1111 for over a year twice a day. Sometimes I would see 1111 and then 111 all in the same day.

I didn’t know what the numbers meant, I just found it peculiar, so I looked it up. This is what it said, “1111 is a wake-up call that tells us to prepare for something greater to come. It’s a time to manifest our intentions and take action to achieve our visions. Remember: thoughts are energy, and energy creates! Seeing the first 1111 can help us to know it’s time to take the first step and incite action.”

What action you might ask. Well, anything you feel called to do. Maybe you’re a banker and you really want to be a painter. Take a class! Who knows where it will lead. The point is, you do something that nurtures your soul.

1111 is a call to your soul. Not the person you thought you were supposed to be for others, but the one you authentically are. You are being asked to be the gypsy. To take flight on a journey back to the self; the one you lost as you grew up and grew away from who you truly are.

I did not post yesterday on any of my platforms. I didn’t feel called to. The whole idea of the card reading page is for you to get back to your intuition. We all have it, we just block it out. Some of us don’t even hear the little voice inside us because we have become numb to it and listen to all of the ones around us instead.

Follow your intuition and if you don’t know what that sounds like, follow the numbers instead. They are trying to lead you back to you.

There are many more Angel Numbers, these are just the ones I see frequently.

111-All about you baby! It’s your destiny. It’s time to start manifesting.

222- You are out of balance. Reassess actions and priorities.

333-Acknowledge your higher purpose.

444- Also about balance but positivity and hopefulness. You are on the right track.

555-Change is on the horizon.

The Process

It’s funny how we travel through life always looking out there somewhere, focusing on a destination. We think it would be illogical to even engage in a situation or relationship, if we can’t see where it is headed. Without an outcome in sight we may not even be able to think about the process, let alone start one.

Most of us need a destination. We need to know the answer to that cringy relationship question, “Where is this headed?” Else we will not want to invest our time in something or someone if there is not sured success.

When we change our focus from the destination and focus on the process instead, we live in the moment. We are so focused on the process that we enjoy ourselves and have fun. If we are not having fun, intrigued or driven by what we are doing, then we should not be a part of that particular process. This should be your gauge for whatever you are giving your time and attention to.

We may see saw back and forth from time to time with staying in the moment and enjoying the process because that logical mind is a toughy. It still says, “I need an outcome! What’s the point of all of this work if there is no win, no destination?”

And here is the answer I came up with:

We are not about a future out there somewhere, we are about what we are right now in this moment. Who are we right now? Whose lives are we effecting? What is our message? What do we stand for? What brings us joy? And what are we doing about it?

When we focus so much on the destination, we miss the journey. The sounds, the sights, the tastes, the smiles, the laughter, the sun, the moon and the stars. We miss the breeze, the breath in every moment and the sun on our face on a beautiful day. We miss the rain and the rainbows after.

The little things. We miss them all. They are the process which makes our life whole. And if we can focus on all of those little things, we will see that the destination is really the amazing journeys we each take on a daily basis by staying true to ourselves, loving others and enjoying every minute we are gifted here.

Everybody Talks Too Much

I have had a few people reach out to me in the last week about how lonely they feel.

Each person is what I would call woke. They are highly awake and consciously aware of the world and what is going on around them. They see other people and wonder how they can’t be like that too, so when they spend time with them they either have a tendency to say things that others might find offensive or stay at home and be alone.

This is common when you work on yourself. It’s as though the lights are on all the time for you, but others are in the dark. You care, so you want to flip on the light switch so they can see too, they but look at you like you’re crazy because they don’t even see a light switch at all.

You find yourself spending more and more time alone because of this. It’s out of protection. You have to preserve your energy for you and not put it out there on others who are not ready to receive it.

The more you work on yourself, the less tolerance you have for people who talk for the sake of talking. It’s amazing how much people talk and say nothing. Absolutely nothing!

I’m a good listener, so I have sat in rooms with people and asked questions, basically taken an interest in those I am spending time with, and it is amazing how little people say. Surface bs where I have no clue what they stand for, what they are passionate about or what drives them as a person.

Quite frankly, it’s exhausting. Hearing the constant chatter but not having a “real” conversation. What is that? I see most people as 5 year old children now. You can see so clearly how they didn’t get the attention they wanted. It’s like you are in a room with a bunch of kids having temper tantrums.

So, I don’t go out much anymore. I don’t go to parties, happy hours or anything I am invited to, unless it’s with someone I find authentic. I have done this way before the current pandemic situation. I would rather spend time with my kids, my sister or myself, than anyone.

If you’re awake and feel like you are all alone, you’re not. Every now and then we need a reminder of that. Cause it gets tough. Just remember that it doesn’t matter if anyone else gets you, you get you, and that’s all that really matters.

Love

Can we define love with words or is it merely something we just feel?

I might say I love you, but do I really mean it? Do my actions show it?

For me, love is actions. Words are just words. Sure, they can help heal and they can seemingly lift someone up, but if there are no actions or sincerity behind the words, then they can hurt, because they are empty.

Love gives credit where credit is due, it doesn’t take the credit when it had nothing to do with it.

Love honors those in it’s life, it doesn’t dishonor or disparage them.

Love is constant, not ever-changing, depending on who is in the room.

Love is a problem solver, not a creator of them.

Love sets about making changes when someone isn’t happy, it doesn’t press the reset button and pretend all is well.

Love is having someone’s back, not stabbing them in it.

Love has its own words, it doesn’t need to take anyone else’s.

Love is authentic, it’s not a charlatan.

Love is talking someone up, not talking down to them.

Love is generous, because the opposite is stingy, and love doesn’t know how to do that.

Love is unconditional, not overwrought with them.

Love is constant, not lukewarm, cold or calculating.

Love is too busy guarding those it loves to be guarded.

Love is free, so there is no need to worry that are you ever giving too much of it, unless you are not getting it in return.

Love listens with an attentive ear, it doesn’t pretend it didn’t hear you.

Love protects the people in it’s life, it doesn’t hurt them.

Love treats you with respect because it demands the same for itself.

Love is truthful, not filled with half truths or outright lies.

Love keeps its promises, it doesn’t break them.

Love meets you half way, because there is no other distance.

Love is selfless, not self-serving.

Love is being empathetic, not narcissistic.

Love knows when it is loved because it is a feeling of utter joy, contentment and total acceptance of what it is. Anything that pretends to be otherwise, is control.

Love is the most beautiful emotion in the world. Love does everything for everyone, no matter who they are, what they are, what they do for a living, how much money they make or what they look like.

When you live without love you suffer. For some of us it is not by choice. We may have thought we met someone who loved us, only to realize it was never really love, it was something far more insidious.

We may have been hurt by them so deeply, we don’t know if we will ever recover. We may even blame ourselves for allowing them into our lives. How could we have been so fooled? How could we have been so wrong?

The answer is simple once you figure it out, but it doesn’t come without pain. It’s a horrible and cruel lesson to be sure. But one that is necessary if you want the kind of love I just described.You have to love yourself first. You cannot look outside of yourself for love, because you will only attract people who love themselves even less; in a word, they are called narcissists.

So here’s to Love! May we all experience the fairy tale love that Disney movies are made of. Cause if you’re reading this, you deserve it! Remember, it all starts with you loving you!

What Is A Fool?

Back in the day if you were a a court jester or fool, you were also the member of the household of a nobleman or a monarch employed to entertain guests. If you were exceptional at being a fool, you were taken very well care of. If not…well, “off with his head” probably got thrown around a bit.

Nowadays a fool is simply someone who lacks judgment.

But what of this song? It’s zippy and fun, but there is a line that says, “Dreams aren’t found, they’re made.”

It is a fool who does not go after their dreams. A fool sits idly by while others do, and they curse themselves for having not done anything about what they want. A fool will sit back and talk about the “what ifs” instead of getting off of their butts and taking a chance.

A fool thinks they have all of the time in the world, too. “I need not worry now. There’s always tomorrow.” And then tomorrow comes and they think of another excuse. Fools assume a lot too. They think because something didn’t work out one time, it most definitely won’t work out again, so they give up on even trying. Can you image if all of the people who have invented things we use today thought that way?

Don’t be a fool!

Promises

A promise: an assurance to someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen.

Are you keeping promises? Not ones to other people, but the ones you make to yourself?

The one where you said, “I won’t give my heart to anyone who doesn’t give their heart in return?”

The one that said, “I won’t commit to anything unless it resonates 100% with who I am?”

How about the promise that said, “I won’t repeat what my parents did, because it didn’t do a whole hell of a lot for me?”

Are you keeping your promises? Because if you aren’t, then you are simply repeating a pattern and a program that was given to you by whoever raised you. And if you have children, you will simply perpetuate these patterns and programs onto them, until a brave soul (usually referred to as decides it’s time for change.

In order to raise our vibration and live our lives to the fullest and most joyful place possible, we have to stay true to ourselves and the inner voice that is always trying to lead us to happiness.

It is never too late to make a promise to the little kid inside of you. But the first step is recognizing that you are missing something and instead of continuing to look for it outside of yourself, you go within to find the answers.

Make a promise to yourself that this year will be different.